Love Without Reason by LaRayia Gaston

Author:LaRayia Gaston
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781683646310
Publisher: Sounds True
Published: 2021-02-17T00:00:00+00:00

EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE SEEN

Almost without exception, we underestimate one of the greatest gifts we have to give. It’s something that every one of us has to offer. It doesn’t matter if we’re rich or poor, outgoing or introverted, in a good place in our lives or working things through, we all have this powerful thing to offer to strangers and loved ones alike: the power of our attention.

When you deal regularly with displaced people like I do, it becomes obvious pretty quickly how important it is to be seen. That’s because people who live on the streets are regularly ignored and walked right past as if they don’t exist. Even if you don’t have money to spare for someone on the street who is asking for it, you can still say hello. You can still acknowledge the person’s existence. I’ve known many displaced people who will stand outside a store and hold the door open for customers as they come and go. Sure, they might be hoping for your change, but I’ve learned that many of them do it just as much to be noticed. They are hoping someone will break up the monotony of their day by offering a smile and maybe a little conversation.

Of course, it’s not just displaced people that this happens to. In our society, there are lots of people who are looked past on a regular basis, like the poor, the elderly, even children. Not long ago, LOM opened a bodega to bring fresh food to a neighborhood in Los Angeles where affordable, healthy food is hard to come by. We get a lot of families coming through, sometimes just to hang out because it’s a welcoming and safe space. You can tell the difference right away between the children who are used to being seen and the ones who have learned to be detached and unobtrusive as they follow along behind their parents. We make a point of greeting every person who comes through the door, children included, whom we greet separately from their parents. We learn their names and use them when they come back. It’s a simple gesture, so easy to do, but you’d be amazed how quickly most children will brighten up just because they’ve been spoken to directly.

The truth is that all of us want to be seen, no matter how old we are or what our experience has been. It frustrates me how often I see people withhold their attention when it could be given so easily. By “attention” I simply mean noticing someone, acknowledging someone, making eye contact and showing the person that you see him or her. It’s not hard to do, and yet so many of us choose not to do it. Like in line at the grocery checkout, when I see someone texting with one hand and handing their credit card to the clerk with the other, never even looking up. Or when I see a couple out to dinner and one of them is on the phone while the other just sits and waits.

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